Facebook was created as a social media networking application. Its intention was for people to:
Find classmates and old friends
Stay in contact with family
Connect with other people in the world
Globally participate in dialogue on a variety of topics
Network with others in your field of interest
Share your opinions
These mentioned uses are what 100% of Facebook members choose to engage in daily. I have figured out something amazing! I can re-appropriate Facebook for a purpose that it was not ever intended for. We do not have to use social media as SOCIAL or MEDIA. Let me explain.
In October of 2017 I decided I didn’t like FB anymore. It was no longer interesting, fun or intelligent. By December, I had deleted my personal profile. In May of 2018, I republished my writer page, which is an extension of my WordPress blog, 1jewess.
Yet this was a problem too. How would I administer my page if I had deleted my profile? I had an alternate profile, but she had 700 friends and followers.
This is where it gets fascinating!
1. I discovered a Chrome extension for FB called Facebook Toolkit. This would allow me to unfriend everyone en masse. It allows you to do all kinds of sophisticated management. You can post to all of your groups at once; you can leave all of your groups at once and never be added back. You can send a message out to multiple people (not in a group) or post to multiple friends simultaneously. You can delete, block and purge in large quantities. The options are endless.
2. The purpose of me unfriending everyone was so that my profile would be empty of interaction.
3. I also blocked everyone so that they wouldn’t send me messages, tag me or have any ability to find me.
4. I limited all past posts to “only me”.
5. I never posted ever again to that wall.
So why didn’t I just delete that other profile too and start all over again from scratch? Because, it existed. I was no longer going to use FB to interact with people. I was no longer going to post statuses. I was no longer going to have people in my newsfeed. I was no longer going to receive any notifications.
I was able to tailor make FB into something very different than its actual intended purpose. I ONLY had pages: non-profits, companies, restaurants, bars, cafes, arts organizations, festivals, events, art galleries, fashion, design, architecture, pugs, pets, Buddhism, Kabbalah, yoga, travel, food, recipes and cooking, – the activities, places and information that was specifically useful to me. I created a very small niche collection of pages that were part of my REAL LIFE day-to-day existence here in Israel.
Consider it for a moment. No news (or just uber selective and limited), no media outlets, no gossip and no personal posts from individuals. No one could tag me, no one could message me- because I deactivated messenger. No one could stalk me or troll me either. I set myself free.
I have more personal and deeper reasons for doing this, but that is a different blog topic. All I am saying is that you can take control of your life. You do not have to use any Internet application for it’s original purpose. You can manipulate these constructs to benefit you, not stress you out or annoy you.
Also, I never viewed my Facebook community as actual friends. It was merely an echo chamber where the choir would nod their heads in agreement. Occasionally a few would act out, get super emotional, but it never mattered because I didn’t know 97% of my FB peeps. I realized it was all ego based. The concept of “likes” and these stupid emotis were so childish to me. A very select few people who actually know me in real life, know how to get ahold of me. If you send my profile a request, I will likely never even get the notification for it. I am not here to collect friends. What would be the point? I do not post or read, ever. My profile is dormant. Get it? Leaving FB didn’t cost me anything at all. In fact, I gained everything from it.
The other pro-tip is I deleted the Facebook app from my phone as well as the Messenger app. I cannot say enough good things about being released from the prison of a hand held device. I never knew what I was missing before. I was incapable of seeing that I was not being present in my life. I was living a version of reality with my head down looking into a screen. Once that stopped, I could see- really see the world around me and I became more engaged. The experiences were more intimate for me. I didn’t have to post every meal, selfies, every moment, feeling or opinion at every moment I was having it.
The notion that all of your thoughts are suppose to be a public announcement is nuts. The idea that your opinion is so important that you have to insert it every few minutes is sick. Facebook has created this toxic environment of a no filters society. It is rude, uncouth and a place of zero boundaries.
I hate Op Eds, I quit reading them and sharing them a year ago. The whole concept that all of our opinions are important is to say that opinions are supposed to be heard by the masses. They are OPINIONS. I do not have to give one flying fuck about an opinion and no one has to give a damn about my opinion. Where is it written that we have to validate, embrace, respect and consider everyone’s opinion? Guess what, an opinion is neither right nor wrong, hence it is an opinion. Did you not take 9th grade English class? It is not a PhD thesis. It is not a doctoral paper. It is not an academic argument. It is not a legal argument in a court of law. Quit applying such standards to the common, everyday man, run of the mill opinion, you fucking morons. I can just say shit. Poof. Just like that. I don’t even owe you an explanation.
Facebook is its own macro-culture of a billion users. That is 1 billion sheep. You can’t just say something anymore. You can’t just speak off the cuff, informally on your own damn wall. Some little asshole will show up and ruin the post for everyone. Some ego-based comment will erupt with hyper criticism. Someone will be offended. Someone will tell you that you are wrong. People you have never met in your entire life will tell you what you really meant in that post. They will preach at you and judge you for the content of your own fucking words and attempt to reinterpret it for everyone else. That cunt will then lecture you on the INTENT BEHIND your words- a stranger, a FB “friend”…
The best part is that FB users do not know dick about how much of free speech is protected. I would watch people have full on meltdowns all because they thought what someone wrote was hate speech (which is legal). I would laugh my ass off. FB is an international community, but based in the U.S. Most do not know the statues on this in American. Legal threats would follow and I would be holding my sides because they ached so badly from my laughter of their emotional knee-jerk, uninformed, know-it-all reactions. Everyone on FB thinks they are an attorney, so stupid… The Supreme Court states that “fighting words” are what categorically fall under incitement, which is violence. One can invoke tons of hate speech without violating that. I digress, severely…
Parts of speech for English speakers
Because FB is global, you have tons of people interacting whose first language is not English. This is a bigger problem than anyone will acknowledge. I cannot begin to list all of the disasters that I witnessed on threaded discussions as a result of this. There are parts of speech that non- native English speakers- particularly non- American or non-Western people will ever comprehend. Hyperbole, sarcasm, paradoxical statements, exaggeration, humor or cultural illustrations are lost on them. Just because you guys are speaking English, doesn’t mean it is the same English. Have you ever tired to translate Hebrew or Arabic? OMFG! What a joke and the opposite is just as inept.
Lastly, when I realized how many of my FB peeps I had daily interaction with, didn’t exist, I was thrown. Fake profiles, fake names, fake content- fake people. I talked to people online for three years who were not who they said they were. There I was, using my real name, my real face, my real life and there were hundreds of people who felt they had the right to lecture, shame, troll, harass and gossip about others in the community – and they didn’t even have an actual bonafide identity. Cowards, losers, failures, posers- not worthy of my respect or time. These were the ones who yelled the loudest, were ban the most often from FB and had no sense of social decorum whatsoever- yet demanded people listen to their fucking useless opinions.
Validation and approval
Ultimately I think the reason FB and I parted ways is because I have never required the validation of anyone for my path nor sought the approval of those, even if they like me. It’s funny, I reached a point in early 2017, where I quit rendering my opinion at all and would only write a dry delivery of my day. I would talk about where I went, what I saw and what I experienced. People would show up and tell me I was wrong. Like somehow the conversation I had with the little old man in the Armenian quarter didn’t happen like I said it did, lol. The best part was and still is when I write about something non political and people show up and hijack the post in order to insert a political twist. Barf, gag, go home, I think you are a POS… and now I ban them from my page, because as I mentioned above, I have no FB friends. See?
Now days, I show the softer side of Jerusalem. People associate this city as being the most contentious place on earth. They only see the conflict, religion and politics. For those of us who actually live here, we see so much more that the world does not get exposure to. I decided I could do something DIFFERENT. Why repeat, regurgitate, recirculate the same damn info? I realized I could share beauty, art, food, festivals, cool, innovative, create things that are a normal part of life here. I choose to show Jerusalem- that means Jews and Arabs, Israelis and Palestinians alike. Fuck peace. I mean seriously. We have peace. It’s just a version of peace that no one understands because it is not a Western peace. It is our peace. It is a very imperfect peace. It is ours to contend with, not yours.
My haters would say- “she made Aliyah five minutes ago and thinks she knows everything.” This right here ^ is everything. They never understood that I know nothing. I know absolutely nothing at all, that’s the whole point.
We must be teachable. Growth requires learning. That cannot happen if you think you know something already. It is only when we destroy our ego, sit quietly and listen that there is any hope of learning.