Fake Feminism- taking back actual feminism is not gonna be easy

Women today hate women for being women. Women betray feminist values because they are jealous, petty and judgmental.

Women are not unified, they are divided within. The first to cast stones when a woman steps forward to say she was sexually assaulted or raped is in fact, women.

When a woman has an affair with a married man, women assume she is a home wrecker, a whore and vixen. It never occurs to women that perhaps she is none of those things.

Men lie.

Men cheat.

Men lead double lives, as in a dual lifestyle in two different worlds.

Men create an illusion of another life and they earn a woman’s trust through performing various acts of love and adoration.

If a person gets swindled out of money, people feel bad for that person.

If a person is robbed, a victim of vandalism, identity fraud or attacked, people have sympathy.

Yet when a woman gives her most precious gift, the gift of trust to a man and he betrays her, it’s the woman’s fault. Everything is the woman’s fault.

Women do not trust women.

Women secretly hate pretty women, skinny women, women with height, particularly if they are highly educated and successful too.

Women judge over weight women, they think they are depressed or lazy. Seriously…

If you are a woman who doesn’t care what other people think of you and you live your life, women will be jealous of that. If you are single and are sexually active, you enjoy good sex and celebrate it, you are a slut. If you take care of yourself and have a great figure, you are to be loathed because you are shallow. If you have money, you are a spoiled little rich bitch. Mind you, there is no other possible explanation. There could never be any other back story or truth here… because well, assumptions.

We have women who lie. We have women who target men in the workplace. We have women who are opportunists and women who cry wolf. These women harm the creditability of those women who have genuinely been abused and exploited by men. Yet who is the judge? What is the litmus test for this? If you weren’t there, how do you know?

Women have become self righteous prudes. They have become old maids. They have become boring, predictable and a copy, of a copy, of a copy. Oh yeah, that’s what we used to call a “basic bitch,” If she is an individual, marches to the beat of her own drum, doesn’t follow fashion, but makes fashion, then burn that witch at the stake. If she is divergent, if she is outspoken, fearless and contrarian, she is an attention whore, right? If she she is vulnerable and shares events of her life freely, she is a drama queen, right?

Women need to wake up and see that this woman I speak of is all of us…  if only.   Cowards only attack when they feel safe. Do you feel safe now?

Women need to realize that it is very much our gender, our species that is at war. I don’t give a damn if you are anti- Hillary, pro- Michelle, anti- Trump, pro- Trump- none of it is worth the internal destruction of our gender. When you go after one woman, it sets off a chain reaction and it is wildfire. Stop it.

Be supportive. Talk to women. You think you know a woman’s life that you read something about, yet you’ve never met her. Pick up a phone and call her. Quit texting, lift your head from out of your phone. Quit reading Facebook, get off Instagram and look at each other in the eye.

Quit competing. Beauty is not a competitive sport. You cannot look up a picture of beauty in the dictionary. Quit hating women that think different than you. Quit gossiping about your co-workers and do your job. Your daughters see you. Your sons and husbands see the way you treat women too. You are not a fucking feminist.

I am a feminist. I will not tolerate any woman (or man) who bullies a woman. I will not tolerate any woman (or man) who tries to censor a woman. I will not listen to gossip about a woman. I will not repeat second hand information about a woman. I will not condemn a woman whose political views clash with mine. I will not think about, worry about, fret about or obsess about another woman. I am a feminist.

Strong women inspire the confident and intimidate the weak. If you hate that woman, ask yourself why. Then go have coffee with her. Ladies, men wanna see a cat fight. Men will participate in our demise. They will egg us on and hope to see us go in for the kill. Don’t give them that entertainment. Be above that little girl shit. This isn’t high school. Quit acting like a girl and behave like a woman. Quit thinking about her. Think about you. Show your children what matters in life. We all live once and then we die. You wanna die a little girl or a woman?

I’m going to die a feminist who supported women, not a girl who tore them down.

 

 

 

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Secrets destroy humans more than anything else

Secrets are the most powerful thing in the world. People categorize which events in their lives are deemed “secrets” based on one criterion: The fear of what others will think of them. We hold onto these secrets as skeletons in closet, demons in our heads, memories of the past and scars that never fade.

These secrets can mold us into the people we are.

These secrets can dictate what kind of parent or spouse we will be.

These secrets can shape our perception of a specific person.

These secrets can cause us to be fearful, distrusting, and more secretive and ultimately imprison us for life.

There is only one way to take away the power of secrets. Tell that secret.

Once you realize that holding tightly to a mistake from your past or a horrible act that was done to you, is permanent punishment, you have to be brave and kill it because it will kill you.

Perhaps a bad business deal, an irresponsible choice that wreaked consequence and havoc on you and someone else occurred in your childhood, or in college, maybe even last year. You will carry this horrid weight around as baggage into every relationship. You will carry it to your grave. It will manifest itself in your body, in sickness, sleep disorders, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, weird coping mechanisms will be forged on the secrets behalf.

Society teaches us to worry about what others will think of us. What will people say if they know this? Once you tell it, all of that worry goes away in a flash. It is literally the fastest acting remedy I have ever experienced in my life. When you tell that secret, it loses its power over you within 60 seconds. It is fucking amazing and I am here to tell you to stop listening to this stupid world that has sold you a lie. The lie that the opinions of others are relevant to your happiness.

Sure we are all entitled to privacy and each individual is the only person who has the right to determine what should be private. I am not saying you have to be confessional. I am not encouraging people to wear their heart on their sleeve. I am not glorifying drama queens or attention seekers.

I am talking about something truly unique and it stands alone in a category all by itself.

Social taboos

Affairs

Addiction

Childhood traumas- incest survivor, molestation

Domestic violence survivor

Rape

Committing a crime

You were once a porn star or a stripper

You served time in jail

You bullied a kid and that kid ended up in a hospital or dead

You had anorexia or Bulimia

You cut yourself

You had a Juvie record

You lived in a halfway house

People are human and most of the self-righteous assholes out there that are the loudest and most judgmental are often the ones with the ugliest secrets of all.

Quite frankly, if you have no secrets, you’ve never lived through one of the taboo subjects mentioned, then guess what? You are a sheltered, ignorant and uninformed person. You managed to get through life unscathed without a scratch. You know what you know because you read about it or saw a movie about it, thus you have second hand or third hand knowledge at best. Count your blessings though.

I’ve met people like this. They are super thinned skinned and they get upset over nothing. They are the ones who are the real drama queens. They are the ones who live vicariously through the legitimate suffering of others. They are the ones who live in glass houses and throw stones (then duck down).

Yet often those who have lived a life of hell tend to live in denial about it. That’s another byproduct of secrets. In order to function, you pretty much have to be in a certain degree of denial in order to go on functioning. Denial is awesome because it actually works! I shit you not- people who master denial never have to deal with anything; it’s incredible. I have seen people who committed heinous acts or had horrors done to them and they burry it deep in the ground. They build a structure on top of it, plant a garden on it and poof- it’s gone!

They will always be the ones to point out other people’s shortcomings. They always focus on other people’s lives and they constantly have to be talking about others. These people are so easy to spot because they have an obsession with focusing on everyone, but their own shit.

Be brave, don’t let your secrets own you. Find a way to let it out, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone.

 

 

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Ari Fuld redefined friendship for me

I hate funerals, always have.

Truth be told, I hate weddings too, ceremonial formalities in general, really.

My friend is having a funeral tonight and I’m not going.

I cried all afternoon.

Then I drank.

I spoke to a few people by phone about it.

My heart hurts.

I’m angry.

I cannot be in a space of hundreds of people who feel just like me.

Instead, I’ll write. It’s what I do.

I write everyday. I write in my journal mostly.

 

We live next to enemies that want to kill us.

We live next to humans who want to coexist with us.

We live next to otherness that we don’t understand.

We live next to a different culture, a different ideology than ours.

We talk to them.

We ignore them.

We date them.

We hate them.

We are afraid of them.

We trust some of them.

 

They stab us.

They stone us.

We destroy their homes.

We arrest them.

They are financially compensated for terror by their government.

They are released in a prisoner swap.

They are shot on site and forever memorialized as a shahid.

We bury our dead.

They bury their dead.

On and on it goes with no end in site.

 

Zionism demands a great deal from us, doesn’t it?

One cannot comprehend the magnitude of the responsibility it requires of us if they do not live here.

Zionism takes its toll on us all here.

The Zionist enterprise is a tiresome, uphill fight- every damn day.

My friend died a Zionist. He died fighting for Israel everyday.

 

I ask myself if this teenage little bitch knew who he was.

Was my friend targeted?

I also feel like if a big guy that is also armed can be taken down so easily, I too am at risk.

Of all the people in this whole country that could’ve been murdered today, it was he. They picked the wrong guy. Seriously.

He was pro-Israel alright, but he would talk to anyone. He never got sloppy or used personal attacks. He helped every person he knew. He was a real life hero. He cared about this land and its people through actions, not Facebook rants.

I’m upset because he brought me over a plastic stool to reach this storage cabinet that was up too high in my old place. When I moved to another apartment, I left that plastic stool behind. I’ve needed it on a couple of occasions and kicked myself for not going back and getting it. I wonder if it’s still there or not? Had I kept it, I would have a memento of him. I’d remember him every time I looked at it. I’d remember the time he stood on it and tried to break the pad lock on the cabinet door because I lost the key. Hell, I think he even used his gun to break the lock, lol!

I’m upset that the guy who literally and figuratively kept us all safe is gone now. He was a real life friend. People say they are your friends, but then when you are in need, they don’t show up. He showed up. Friendship is an illusion made up of words. Without actions, there is no friendship. Friendship is a high price and few can afford to pay it.

Ari Fuld redefined friendship for me.

 

 

 

 

 

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Firebombs hurled at mixed-gender concert in Israeli Arab town – Israel News – Haaretz.com

No injuries were reported after men riding motorcycles hurled firebombs at the concert venue in Umm al-Fahm which was hosting a show that prompted Islamic opposition
— Read on www.haaretz.com/israel-news/.premium-molotov-cocktails-hurled-at-concert-by-mixed-gender-israeli-arab-band-1.6471984

I love this city.

They have amazing art and culture.

Israel supports these people.

Yet the division between secular and religious, moderate and extreme exists among Muslims in this divided place.

This matter of gender is thematic all throughout Israel. It’s everywhere.

It’s Arab and Jew.

Palestinian and Israeli.

It’s Islam and Judaism.

It’s hate and tolerance.

Ladies- can we please see what’s staring at us in the face?

It’s time we lead the charge and become proactive to combat these anti-women ideas and actions.

Sisters, please…

Enough!

מספיק !

كافية!

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Jerusalem mayoral hopeful egged by fellow Palestinians – Israel News – Haaretz.com

Aziz Abu Sarah is breaking the traditional East Jerusalem boycott on local elections ■ ‘They don’t have any arguments so they’re using violence,’ Abu Sarah says of protesters
— Read on www.haaretz.com/israel-news/.premium-jerusalem-mayoral-hopeful-egged-by-fellow-palestinians-1.6462904

I’ve been saying for two years, if the 250,000 Palestinians from East Jerusalem would just work within the system, they could legitimately advocate for themselves.

Instead, they boycott elections rather than unifying and supporting a slate of names that would accurately represent their interests.

Of course he is not going to get elected, but it’s important because this sets a precedent.

I’m livid that his own people do not grasp the magnitude of how important this is.

They only know riots and violence, yet there is a voice of reason amongst them. They need to grow up and listen to this guy because he’s the only adult in the room.

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ELUL 2018 IS REALLY BAD THIS YEAR

The month of Elul

This month is when we, the Jewish people celebrate the end of our year with Rosh Hashana. It is also when we have our most solemn holy day of the year, Yom Kippur.

 

Elul is described as being about mercy, repentance as well as life and death.

This month many people I know experienced death within their families.

It reached a point when my boyfriend said to me- “you know, this is the darkest month, WTF?”

You see, his nephew of 16, was killed in a mountain climbing accident.

My realtor’s father died last Thursday and my dad died two days ago.

My new landlord had to postpone a meeting because his business partner is sitting shiva right now for his mother’s sudden death.

There are others too.

 

This is also the month of my two-year Aliyah anniversary here in Israel.

Additionally, I am packing up to leave Jerusalem for Jaffa. I’m trying to be present in this moment. I am trying to be cognizant of what is happening around me. I am trying to process my father’s death.

 

Repentance

I don’t like this word.

It know it is part of life and it is necessary.

The irony that this is the theme of Elul and my father- the person who should’ve begged for repentance, did not.

I have been wronged by people that I thought really loved me over the summer.

I know not one of them will repent. Not one will ask forgiveness from me.

 

 

Mercy

It is this, which brings me to the mercy that was given to us at Sinai after Moses broke the Ten Commandments upon seeing us worship the golden calf.

Showing mercy to one who has not repented is a rather god-like quality, I would say.

I do not know how others define mercy, but I would say it is the act of restraint. It is putting the act of will power into performance, to hold one back from being all that they could unleash, if they chose to. This is what I have chosen.

 

Life & Death

Many people this time of year think about death and their own lives.

I am, because I don’t want to die alone in a bathtub like my father did two days ago.

 

What is really puzzling me though is the word Elul itself.

Elul is spelled אלול; the acronym we say is Ani L’dodi V’dodi Li, which is “I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is mine.” (Song of Songs 6:3) Gd is ours and we, the Jewish people belong to Gd.

What’s love got to do with it? (Woe woe… H/t Tina Turner)

I think it is that only love can provoke one to extend mercy to one who has not sought repentance.

 

It is amazing my father died this month of all months.

I am supposed to show him mercy, where there has been no repentance.

I am supposed to learn from his death, that I am now an extension of his life.

I am part of the Beloved, our people.

 

 

 

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Are the Internet giants eviscerating journalism? | The Jerusalem post

The European Parliament must vote massively in favor of “neighboring rights” for the survival of democracy and one of its most remarkable symbols: journalism.
— Read on m.jpost.com/Opinion/Are-the-Internet-giants-eviscerating-journalism-566285

This is a new norm I can’t accept.

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